Tenzin and the Magical Mushroom Mystery Tour
by Jeff Morris
Summary: Korra. Hippies. Mushrooms. Pema. Stir-fry. Tenzin. What a long strange trip it's going to be. Also: just where did Avatar Aang's statue wind up?


_This is an amateur, non-commercial story, which is not produced, approved of, or in any way sponsored by the holders of the trademarks/copyrights from which this work_ _is derived_ _, nor is it intended to infringe on the rights of these holders. And so it goes._

TENZIN AND THE MAGICAL MUSHROOM MYSTERY TOUR

Tenzin slowly opened his eyes and looked around, bewildered. While his brain was having difficulty functioning due to the incessant pounding within, it was pretty clear that these were unfamiliar surroundings. The room was beautiful, with lovely paintings and potted plants lining the walls, and directly opposite his bed was an incredible view of Yue Bay. Unfortunately, the bed was making his back ache and the alleged blankets were paper thin.

"Where…am I?" he called out, his voice surprisingly hoarse and raspy.

Bumi suddenly came into view. "Hey, you're awake! How are you feeling?"

"Horrible." Tenzin looked around a second time. "Is this…a hospital room?"

Bumi nodded. "Yeah. Asami got you a private room…she got you a private suite, to be honest. She felt a little guilty about things, after all. But the doctors think you're going to be fine. It might take a while until you're completely over this, but I think you're past the worst of it."

Tenzin attempted to rub his eyes only to discover he couldn't. "Yeah," Bumi continued apologetically. "They had to restrain you, but I think they can release you now. I'll get a nurse in here."

"Bumi…what happened?" Tenzin demanded. He stared out the window and frowned; something very important was missing out there. "Father's statue. Bumi, where is Father's statue?"

"Uhhh…" Bumi frowned and looked a bit uneasy. "Tenzin, you're tired. You've been through a lot, and that's a very long story. Why don't we wait until you're feeling better…?" A nurse came in and set to work on the restraints. Tenzin was quickly freed, but his liberation was short-lived as she proceeded to take his vitals with brisk, practiced efficiency.

A few minutes later the nurse had finished and returned to wherever it was nurses went when they weren't bothering patients. "Bumi….what happened?" Tenzin growled, his voice and temper rising simultaneously.

"Okay, okay," his brother said, raising his arms in surrender. "Let me get Pema in here, and then I'll tell you the whole tale."

* * *

Night had long since fallen over Republic City. The mistress of Air Temple Island had gotten the kids to bed, put away the dishes and was treating herself to tea and a small piece of cake when her husband finally appeared in the doorway."Well, I was beginning to wonder. I take it Raiko had a lot to say?"

"Oh, that man just loves the sound of his voice, I swear," Tenzin sighed, collapsing in the first available chair. "Lin and I had to sit there as he went on and on and on about the reconstruction effort. We kept glancing at the clock, hoping he might notice the hour, but no such luck."

"Well, you're in luck," Pema informed him as she kissed his cheek. "Korra was here earlier…"

"Really? How did things go with rescuing those nomads stuck in the cave? Were my father's journal entries about the glowing crystals on the ceiling helpful?"

"She didn't really say too much about it, to be honest, but she was in a very good mood," Pema noted. "And…she brought these over." She held up a netted collection of black mushrooms. "Apparently the nomads gave these to her as thanks for rescuing them. She knows how much you love the things. I can make you a quick stir-fry if you want."

"Oh, that would be heavenly," Tenzin sighed. "I'll make myself some tea in the meantime. I really appreciate this, Pema. I'm sorry I missed dinner with the children."

"To be honest, Meelo wasn't sorry to see you gone," Pema laughed. "He more or less said 'more for me'. He's hitting another growth spurt, I think."

"Well, he's not getting any of my mushrooms, I can tell you that right now," Tenzin declared. "I am ravenous."

* * *

"I…vaguely remember all that," Tenzin said slowly. He rubbed his now-released wrists and flexed his fingers. "What happened next?"

"You devoured the stir-fry," Pema said, resting her hand on his arm. "You ate three helpings and were picking out the mushrooms from the leftovers. Then you decided to go meditate for a while and clear your mind from the meeting with Raiko."

"And a little while after that, I found you," Bumi added.

* * *

Bumi had a habit, one left over from his days in the service. He never went to bed until he'd had one walk around the perimeter, just to be sure everything was all right. Even now he took a nightly stroll around the island. If nothing else it was good exercise, and after Equalists, Red Lotus agents and Earth Empire soldiers, one could never be too careful.

Tenzin was sitting in the middle of the meditation gazebo, staring out at the city…utterly and completely naked. "Hey, Tenzin," Bumi said after a long moment. "Everything okay?"

"Oh yes," Tenzin nodded, his eyes closed. "Everything's fine, Bumi."

"Ummm." Bumi considered his next words carefully. "I don't recall your having taught this particular style of meditation."

"I'm attempting to reach the spirit world. To do so, one must shed the physical and embrace the basic oneness of being."

"Really? That's a new one. Which guru said that?"

Tenzin shook his head. "No guru. Ten-ju, the master of the little animal spirits told me."

Bumi blinked several times. "The…little…animal…spirits."

"That's right," Tenzin nodded. "Bum-ju hasn't introduced Ten-ju to you?"

"Not to my recollection." Bumi gave the sky a quick once-over. "And where might his little animal spirit servants be?"

"Why, they're all around us, of course. Can't you see them?" Tenzin suddenly laughed. "Ten-ju says Bum-ju isn't really an animal spirit, you know. He's a figment of your imagination."

Bumi looked to the left, the right, above him and below. "Really. And you say that the little animal spirits are all around us? Because to be honest with you, Tenzin, I'm not seeing any at the moment."

Tenzin beamed beatifically. "Ha! Did you hear that, Ten-ju? I'm farther along than he is now! Take that back to your imaginary Bum-ju, Bumi!" He settled himself into position and closed his eyes, chanting a stream of nonsense under his breath. Bumi watched his brother for a minute or so, then shrugged and headed back to the house.

"Hey, Pema…" he began, but his gaze quickly fell on the bag of mushrooms still sitting on the counter. He picked the bag up and sniffed the contents. "Where did these come from?" he asked a bit too casually.

"Hmmm? Oh, Korra gave them to us. She dropped by this afternoon." Pema finished the dishes and dried her hands. "Tenzin really liked them."

Bumi bit his lip. "Had a lot, did he?"

"Oh yes. You know how crazy he is about mushrooms." Pema cocked her head, curious. "Is something wrong?"

"Ahhhh…" Bumi hesitated. "Would you mind getting Kya for me? I need her opinion on something." Mystified, Pema nodded and hurried off.

The moment she was out of sight, Bumi grabbed the phone and quickly dialed a specific number. "Hello? Asami?"

"Bumi? I can't really talk right now," Asami answered, clearly stressed. "We've got a little situation here."

Bumi nodded. "Something to do with Korra acting a little oddly?"

"Ahhh….yes, as a matter of fact. How did you know?" There was a long pause, and Bumi could just make out Korra screaming "I'M THE AVATAR AND I'VE GOT A FANTASTIC BODY, YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT!" in the background.

"A little oddly, yes," Asami conceded a moment later.

"Get her to the hospital as soon as you can and tell them to pump her stomach. She's tripping out on some really toxic mushrooms," Bumi ordered.

"Well, I'd like to do that," Asami replied despairingly. "But it might not be that easy." Again, Bumi could just make out Mako's voice as he begged and pleaded for Korra to knock it off.

"Why's that?"

Asami almost sobbed into the phone. "Because…Korra's naked on the roof and we can't get her down. I'm sorry, Bumi, but I have to go now."

* * *

Kya eyed the bag of mushrooms suspiciously. "Tell me these aren't what I think they are," she said slowly.

"They sure look like it to me," Bumi replied.

"What?" Pema asked, bewildered. "They look like what?"

Kya turned toward her, eyes narrowed in concern. "How much of these did he eat?"

Pema considered the question. "I'd guess about three helpings worth, and I'm willing to bet he picked off the leftovers in the wok. Why? Would you please explain what's going on and why Tenzin is acting so oddly?"

Bumi sighed in surrender. "Pema, these things are known as 'poppers' in the Earth Kingdom. They're pretty toxic, but in very small doses they're fantastic hallucinogens….so I've heard," he quickly added.

"Trust me, they are," Kya added quietly.

"Toxic…is Tenzin in danger?" Pema gasped. "What can we do?"

Bumi's eyes met Kya's. "Mom's magic trick?"

"I'm afraid so," she nodded. "The thing is, we're got to get him settled down first. With any luck those things will have made him thirsty…" Kya frowned and peered out the back window. "Is it me, or is it getting a bit windy out there?"

"What magic trick?" Pema demanded. "What are you going to do?"

"You really don't want to know, or see," Bumi informed her. "I'm going to call for an airship ambulance. You two get out there and find out what he's doing. If we can get him calmed down long enough to drink some water, he might just get out of this okay."

"I wish someone would tell me what you're talking about," Pema grumbled. "But all right."

"PEMA! SCATTER THE CHILDREN WHILE I HOLD THEM OFF!" Tenzin fired yet another air blast at…something. Kya and Pema glanced at one another and shrugged. "YOU WON'T TAKE MY HOME AND FAMILY, NOT THIS TIME! TEN-JU'S STANDING WITH ME!"

Pema hesitantly moved closer. "Errr, dear," she said in her gentlest voice. "Just what are you attacking?"

"I'm not attacking! I'm DEFENDING!" Tenzin unleashed yet another volley that did little but send the practice gates spinning dangerously. "Can't you see them, Pema? Hurry! We'll give you as much time to flee as we can! Look out, Ten-ju! Incoming!"

"Flee from what?" Kya demanded.

"From the FLYING ZOMBIE BADGERMOLES! Can't you see them? Raiko's riding the lead one, trying to claim this island for his expansion project! But so long as I draw breath…" Another blast followed, this one strong enough to send several of the gates flying into the bay. "That's it, my little friend! We're driving them back!"

"You know," Kya sighed, "if it wasn't for the fact that his health's at stake, this might actually be funny."

"There's nothing funny about it," Pema retorted. She took a deep breath and summoned her unstoppable 'angry mommy' voice. "TENZIN! YOU STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!" she screamed. "YOU ARE FRIGHTENING THE BISON!"

Much to Kya's stunned surprise, the admonition worked. Tenzin stopped dead in his tracks and turned toward Pema. "It's all right," he said apologetically. "You must have frightened them off…oh! Why didn't you tell me your sisters came for a visit?"

"My…what?" Pema gaped.

"Your sisters! Why didn't you ever tell me you were part of a set of triplets?"

* * *

"All right, all right," Tenzin grumbled from his hospital bed. "I was a little out of my head, I understand that. WHAT HAPPENED TO FATHER'S STATUE?"

Bumi sighed. "We're getting to that."

* * *

The good news was that Pema and her "sisters" had managed to calm Tenzin to the point where he could be led back to the main house. The bad news was that his imaginary adventures were still rolling merrily along. "Look!" he declared, pointing at the nearby cliff. "Who built that? It's beautiful!"

"…built what, dear?" Pema asked.

"That bridge that goes into the sky! It's so bright and beautiful…and…and is that DAD?" Tenzin's shock and delight were clearly evident. "IT'S DAD! PEMA, THIS MUST BE THE SACRED AVATAR BRIDGE!"

"Oh, this is going to be fun," Kya muttered. "Tenzin, why don't you drink…" But by then Tenzin was running toward the cliff edge. "Crap."

"I don't recall a 'Sacred Avatar Bridge' in any of my acolyte classes," Pema noted.

"I think he's making it up as he trips along," Bumi nodded. "But he seems to having quite the conversation with Dad, wouldn't you say? Almost makes me wish I could see what he's seeing."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Kya warned. "Look." Tenzin was having quite the animated discussion with his invisible father, complete with wild gestures and an expression growing angrier by the moment.

"DISAPPOINTMENT?" Tenzin roared. "YOU THINK I'M A DISAPPOINTMENT? I DID EVERYTHING YOU EVER ASKED! I STUDIED ALL THE SCROLLS, I PRACTICED THREE TIMES A DAY, I MEDITATED UNTIL MY BUTT WAS SORE, ALL SO THAT I'D BE THE AIRBENDER YOU WANTED! DO YOU THINK I NEVER WANTED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE, DAD? DID YOU?"

Bumi raised an eyebrow. "This is getting interesting."

"I COULD HAVE BEEN A SCHOLAR! A POET! A SINGER! ALL THOSE YEARS I GOT TO WATCH BUMI AND KYA HAVING FUN AND LAUGHING WITH PEOPLE, BUT OH NO, NOT ME! I HAD TO BE THE HEIR, THE NEXT-TO-LAST AIRBENDER! THE EXAMPLE! AND YOU NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED THAT I MIGHT NOT WANT THAT! DAMN YOU! I HATE YOU!"

"Do you remember having fun and laughing with people?" Kya asked her brother wryly.

Bumi shrugged. "Occasionally….uh-oh." He pointed out to the bay; an insane battery of hurricane winds smashed against their father's statue. It creaked and shuddered ominously for a minute or two, and then with a spectacular screech of shattering metal it took flight and went sailing toward…

* * *

Tenzin closed his eyes and leaned back in the bed. "Where did it end up?"

"Well," Pema said softly, squeezing his hand tenderly. "We know that no one got hurt, so there's that."

"Where did it end up?" Tenzin asked again.

"And no buildings were damaged," Pema continued in a slightly quavering voice. "That was very important, given all the rebuilding that's going on around the city."

"Where did it end up?" Tenzin demanded.

Bumi bit his lip, then took a deep breath. "Well…to be honest, we're not sure. We think it went through the spirit portal. Jinora recommended no one go through to check, given how the natives might not have taken kindly to a few tons of metal suddenly appearing. As soon as Korra's recovered, we're going to ask her to check."

"Korra?" Tenzin moaned. "What's wrong with Korra…oh no."

"Don't worry, dear, she's fine," Pema assured him. "Now," she added a heartbeat later.

"Must be that Avatar metabolism," Bumi nodded. "And let's face it, she's young. I remember when I was her age I got talked into this eating contest…"

"Enough," Tenzin groaned. "What happened next?"

"Nothing pretty…." Bumi began.

* * *

Tenzin was hunched over and panting, clearly exhausted from his latest exertion. Bumi decided it was now or never. "Hey, little brother! All that yelling and bending must have really given your throat a workout. Here, have a nice cold glass of water!"

"Thank you, Bumi." He gulped it down as though his life depended on it. "I have to tell you, I feel absolutely incredible right now. That was so liberating, I don't know why I hadn't done it sooner."

"Good to know," Bumi said, smiling. "Here, have some more. You've earned it." As Tenzin polished that one off in record time, Bumi slowly backed away. "I think he's ready. Your turn, Kya."

The healer smiled grimly and made a slow, complicated gesture. "Here goes."

Some years back, their Uncle Sokka had eaten something that he really shouldn't have (again). He'd turned a sickly shade of green and was in obvious distress; Katara, ever the teacher, brought her daughter over and demonstrated a special waterbending ritual involving a few glasses of water and the nearby koi pond. She called it "The Power Purge" and it was devastatingly effective.

Tenzin's face suddenly contorted. An odd gurgling noise came from his throat, followed momentarily by the two glasses of water along with the contents of his stomach. Before he could react, Kya summoned a stream of water from the nearby pond and fired it into Tenzin's opposite end.

It wasn't pretty, but it was effective. Pema and Kya hurried to where Tenzin lay, retching and gasping for breath. Bumi heard a familiar noise and looked up. "Ahhh. The Republic City Police, right on time. Hopefully they can help us get him to the hospital."

* * *

Tenzin closed his eyes, cradling his head in his hands. "And I've been here how long?"

"A week," Bumi replied. "It's taken a while to get that stuff out of your system. Frankly, we're amazed you're in as good a shape as you are. You ate a lot of those things."

"And what about Korra?"

"She's fine. We think she just nibbled on a few of them on her way back here. Plus, there's that whole Avatar thing going on. They released her about three days ago." Bumi gave his brother's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Hey, you got through this, no one got hurt, nothing irreplaceable got damaged…it's all good."

Tenzin looked up, his eyes narrowed. "You're sure about that?"

Pema smiled comfortingly. "The doctors are very optimistic, dear. Why? Is something worrying you?"

"Well," he said slowly. "It's just that Ten-ju is floating around the room making rude gestures at the two of you…"

"Well, here we go again," Bumi sighed as he headed for the door. "I'll get the nurse."


End file.
